Small Fry Age Guide
Two years
What I’m Like: I am loving, affectionate, and responsive to others. I feel sorry or sad when others my age are upset (I will start crying if a child near me is). I may even like to please you. I don’t need my parents so close for protection, but I don’t want them to go too far away. I may do the exact opposite of what you want. I may be rigid, not willing to wait or give in. I may even be bossy. “Me” is one of my favorite words. I may have fears, especially of sounds, separation, moving objects, or big adults with their faces covered.
What I Need: I need to feel loved and taken care of. I need to continue exploring the world. I like my routines. If you have to change them, do so slowly. I need you to notice what I do well and PRAISE me. Give me two OK choices to distract me when I begin to say “No.” I need you to be in control and make decisions when I’m unable to do so. I do better when you plan ahead. Be FIRM with me about the rules, but CALM when I forget or disagree. And please be patient because I am doing my best to please you, even though I may not act that way.
What I Can Do: I can walk and move on my own but may prefer to be carried. I can start to practice some basic skills like sliding on my skis. I have the capability to make a wedge but may need to build up some muscles before I can do it on skis. I may not be interested in interacting with peers because I am mostly focused on my own world. Most of the things I have a hard time with are strength issues instead of mobility. I am able to spend some time without Mom and Dad but I need to trust the person I am with.
When I Am Melting: First thing I may need is a hug and to be rocked. Most likely I have not been separated with Mom or Dad before and it can feel traumatizing to be left with a stranger. The faster I can trust you the easier the transition away from Mom and Dad will be. I may also be melting because one of my basic needs has not been met. I am not great at articulating what I need and usually my parents anticipate my needs for me. Often I might be tired, hungry or cold and don’t know how to say it. You can try to distract me but do it quick because once I get on a roll with my tantrum it is hard to stop.
Three years
What I’m Like: Watch out! I am charged with physical energy. I do things on my own terms. My mind is a sponge. I like to pretend a lot and enjoy playing simple games. I am full of questions, many of which are “Why?” I become fairly reliable about using the potty. Playing and trying new things out are how I learn. Sometimes I like to share. I begin to listen more and begin to understand how to solve problems for myself.
What I Need: I want to know about everything and understand words, and when encouraged, I will use words instead of grabbing, crying, or pushing. Play with me, sing to me, and let’s pretend! I need to know that what you are asking of me is fun and imaginative.
What I Can Do: I can walk and move around on my own but once I am too tired I will decline very quickly. I can start to practice some basic skills like sliding on my skis. I have the capability to make a wedge but may need to build up some muscles before I can do it on skis. Most of the things I have a hard time with are strength issues instead of mobility. I am starting to get used to spending time without Mom and Dad but I need to trust the person I am with. I can start to interact with peers but might not want to play a game with them.
When I Am Melting: I might be melting because one of my basic needs has not been met. I am not great at articulating what I need and usually my parents anticipate my needs for me. Often I might be tired, hungry or cold and don’t know how to say it. I am very distractible and if you put enough excitement or wonder in your voice you can probably snap me out of a mood pretty quickly. I am usually happy to get a hug and to be told it will be ok. It is very easy to put an idea in my head especially one that will make me sad. Best to avoid telling me something might be scary or asking if I miss my parents.